Reflection: 2020


2020 is almost over. 

All people been bragging about how 2020 is their worst year ever because of the pandemic, lost of a lot of things from job to people they loved, the super duper quite in real life but so noisy on social media, and so many things to blame on 2020. 

As for me, it is the year of me become the best version and worst version at the same time. 

From the needs to be adaptive to a new roles as a housewife, the being jobless and unproductive for months, new jobs, new roles, a lot of new things from professional to personal things. 2020 is a roller coaster journey for me. 

Yesterday I took my time to read my journals from 2015 to 2019, wow, I grow up, I notice that I had a lot of differences on how to deal with problem in 2020. In 2016 I had the urgency to quit my job and I did it the safest way to get the permission without hurting a lot of people (2016 me is a people pleaser YES!). In 2019 I feel I learn enough from my workplace and having problem with its ecosystem. So I quit, roughly, super rough and bit selfish. I consider that as a winning. Was it? I don't think so. But I never regret that decision. But to sum up, 2019 probably was my worst year full of heartbreaks and mental issues. I cried a lot, I read my journal and still feel the heartbreak from the way I write it. 2020 is my savior. Even if it come up with global pandemic that don't have the cure yet. I'm still think 2020 is better than 2019. 

2021 is still blurry. 


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